ThyCa Humor

Learning that we have thyroid cancer is never welcome news, even when treatment is likely to be successful. People cope in many ways. Some patients and caregivers find that humor helps them. They have shared some of their creative works.

These contributions came from some members of ThyCa support groups (see our Support pages for more information. Many of the poems are by Megan Stendebach. "A Little ThyCa Humor" and "Put the Sin back in Synthroid" are by Barb Burri. "Ode to ThyCa" is by Jo Walker.

We're always interested in different ways that people cope. We invite you to share yours by e-mailing to publications@thyca.org, or mailing to ThyCa, Attn: Coping with Thyroid Cancer, P.O. Box 1545, NY, NY 10159-1545.

A Little ThyCa Humor
Ode to ThyCa 
Twelve Weeks of Hypo-Hell
My God, I'm A Hypo Boy!
ThyCa Patients
ThyCa Greatest Hits
Glowin'
Put the Sin Back in Synthroid

A Little Thyca Humor

A month of Synthroid -- $25.36
Low Iodine Snacks -- $11.53
Fancy Shrimp Dinner after RAI Isolation -- $72.50
Hearing your Endocrinologist say your scan was clean and TG undetectable......Priceless

Top of Page

Ode to ThyCa
Summer 2002

My Gittyup & Go
Has got up and went;
My energy stores
Have all been spent.

It's LID this
And LID that;
Instead of exercise
Now I just sat.

My face is all puffy,
My eyes they are blurry,
And my tongue?
It's gone furry!

My mind seems to be
Just turning to mud.
Personality? Dud!

But one day soon
I'll have RAI;
Next a PET scan will
Become my spy.

I'll lie real still,
I'll close my eyes
And think of good things:
Green fields, blue skies,
(shrimp, chocolate & enchillada pies).

Before long with a boost from Cytomel
I'll get back on track with my Synthroid,
And pretty soon I'll be prancin'
Just like a Samoyed!

I'll get through all this
Thanks to friends at ThyCa;
So with my poem
I blow you a kiss;
It may not all rhyme,
But a cyber hug, too.

Then in October
In a town called LA;
It's on the west coast
But not 'the city by the bay'.

I'll go wild at silent auction -
That'll cost me some finners;
Without any caution
Enjoy a NON LID dinner!

Greet friends new and old,
Hear some Thyca tales told,
Learn from experts new facts,
At chats live make new pacts.

Give thanks to the organizers;
To our sponsors, too,
But most especially
To each one of you.

Top of Page

This one goes out to all you Hypo-ites out there. Sing it to the tune of "The Twelve Days Of Christmas".  A-one and a-two....

In the first week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
the need for a really great nap.

In the second week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
two migraine headaches, 
and the need for a really great nap.

In the third week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the fourth week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the fifth week of hypo hell 
my symptoms gave to me
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the sixth week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the seventh week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
seven days of dry skin,
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the eighth week of hypo hell 
my symptoms gave to me
eight constipations,
seven days of dry skin,
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the ninth week of hypo hell 
my symptoms gave to me
nine aching muscles,
eight constipations,
seven days of dry skin,
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the tenth week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
ten frozen fingers,
nine aching muscles,
eight constipations,
seven days of dry skin,
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap.

In the eleventh week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
eleven memory lapses,
and I forget the rest...

In the twelfth week of hypo hell
my symptoms gave to me
twelve temper tantrums,
eleven memory lapses,
ten frozen fingers,
nine aching muscles,
eight constipations,
seven days of dry skin,
six pounds of weight gain,
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and THE NEED FOR A REALLY GREAT NAP!!!

Top of Page

Remember how John Denver made the world seem so simple? Join me now in singing this perky song, "My God, I'm A Hypo Boy!"

Well life on the couch is kinda laid back
Ain't much an old hypo boy like me can't hack
It's late to rise and early in the sack
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

Well a sluggish kinda life never did me no harm
Dozin' on my family and missin' the alarm
My days are all filled with a lazy hypo charm
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

Well I got me some Synthroid, maybe too little
When the sun's comin' up I got flab on my middle
Life ain't nothin' but a pesky hypo riddle
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

When my nap's all done and sun's settin' low
I pull out my bathrobe and I tie it kinda low
Can't see me feet but they're somewhere down below
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

Well I got me some Synthroid, maybe too little
When the sun's comin' up I got flab on my middle
Life ain't nothin' but a pesky hypo riddle
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

Well I would trade my life for diamonds or jewels
I've always been one of those hyper-hungry fools
I'd rather have a middle so my wife kinda drools
My God, I'm a hypo boy!

Hyper folks have energy and stay pretty lean
A lotta hypo people think that's mighty keen
Well folks let me tell ya now exactly what I mean
My God! I'm a hypo boy!

Top of Page


Here's another little ditty I wrote for all you thyca-ites out there. But as usual, I have to qualify it so I don't scare the Newbies...there's a line in the song about puking from the RAI treatment. This is an exaggeration - most patients don't even get nauseous, but I am one of the unlucky ones who dose, so I capitalized on that fact. Poetic license, OK? Besides, the alliteration worked really well in that line, and I liked it! It's *my* song, I can write what I want! 

Hope you enjoy it. Sing it to the tune of "The Camptown Races". It's goes something like this. A-one, and a-two....

ThyCa patients sing this song,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
ThyCa listserv's five miles long,
Oh, the doo-dah day.

See them chatting 'bout the foods to eat,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Low-iodine diet - most do cheat,
Oh, the doo-dah day.

Goin' to crave all night!
Goin' to crave all day!
I can't wait for a ham and cheese.
Weight gain, go away!

When you're hypo, you're brain's in a fog,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
All you wanna do is sleep like a log,
Oh, the doo-dah day.

It's isolation time for me,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Drink and pucker, puke and pee
Oh, the doo-dah day

Goin' to glow all night!
Goin' to glow all day!
The room's decorated with plastic wrap,
Wonder how long I gotta stay?!

Top of Page


In light of the recent anxious comments from some members, I thought a little humor was in order. I hope this email gives you Newbies a smile. It is *meant* to be a joke, and I hope it doesn't rub anybody the wrong way. We gotta laugh at some of this stuff, doncha think? It sure beats crying (which we SHOULD do on occasion. Perfectly normal and necessary, but sometimes a good laugh is cathartic too.)

The following paid announcement is brought to you by the beautiful HypoHotel, a world-class resort catering to the needs of ThyCa patients.  

ANNOUNCING!!!...

...For the first time ever, this incredible collection of "ThyCa's Greatest Hits", sung by the original stars, is available to you! Now, for a low, low price, you'll be able to sing along with the stars who made these songs famous. From classics to show tunes, kids' songs to
pop rock, you'll get the best of ThyCa hit songs!

Just listen to some of the fabulous tunes you'll receive, like this 60's pop favorite:

"My ThyCa's back
and there's gonna be trouble!
Hey la, hey la, my ThyCa's back!"

Original hits, original stars! Like this classic country and western hit:

"Lazy
I'm lazy from being so hypo
I'm lazy
Lazy and feeling so blue..."

And who can resist singing along with this pop tune:

"I can see clearly now the RAIn is gone
I can have Synthroid each and every day
Gone are the nuking rays that made me glow
It's gonna be a bright <brightbright sunshiny
day!"

Relive those familiar emotions with this country ballad:

"I feel so bad
I've got a foggy mind
I'm so hypo 
all the time
since I left my thyroid behind
in Surgery Two

Paying nickels
Paying dimes
Paying all my bills on time
Looking forward to wealthier times
and little pills..."

Grab your partner and do-si-do to this old favorite:

"ThyCa patients sing this song,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
ThyCa listserv's five miles long,
Oh, the doo-dah day.

It's isolation time for me,
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Drink and pucker, puke and pee!
Oh, the doo-dah day!"

You'll hear the smash hit that spent weeks at the top of the charts:

"RAIn drops keep fallin' on my head
And that always means my eyes will soon be turning red
Nothing seems to fit
This weight gain keeps 
Packing on the pounds
I keep gaining

So I just did me some talking to the nurse
And I said I didn't like the way my poor throat hurts
Aching all the time
Those RAIn drops keep falling on my head 
They keep falling...."

Sing along with the happy sounds of:

"Zippity doo dah
Zippity yay!
My, oh my, what a hyper day!
Plenty of Synthroid heading my way,
Zippity doo dah
Zippity yay!"

From kids' favorites to classics, you'll hear the songs that spanned generations:

"Pardon me boy,
Is that the scar that took your thyroid?"

You'll get all this and MUCH MORE! This collection is not available in any store. Order now and receive absolutely free, the complete lyrics to that ThyCa favorite, "The Twelve Weeks Of Hypo Hell":  

"In the fifth week of hypo hell 
my symptoms gave to me
FIVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
Four bouts of weeping,
three seafood cravings,
two migraine headaches,
and the need for a really great nap!"

Call now. Operators are standing by!

Top of Page


Remember the beautiful harmonies of Peter, Paul and Mary? Let this tender ballad take you back to the days of peace and love...

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to glow
I'm standing here
Outside the door
With "Danger: Radiation!" on the sign

But the floor is covered
and so's the phone
the doctors hover
they're ready to go
already I'm so scared
'bout R A I

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll call for me
Close the door, let's start this nuking show
'Cuz I'm stayin' in
i-so-la-tion
Don't know when I'll be home again
Oh babe, I hate to glow.

Now the time has come to leave you
Give me something sour to chew
I'll flush the john for-ty times day

Dream about the foods to come
Seafood, milk, and pizza, yum!
About the time I won't have to say...

Kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll call for me
This is gonna cost a bunch of dough
'Cuz I'm stayin' in 
i-so-la-tion
Don't know when I'll be home again

Glowin', from the treatment
(Glowin')
Don't know if I can spit again
(Glowin')..... <fade>

Top of Page


Hi Thycans;

I'm not the song-meister that Megan is... but all weekend I've been thinking of a fantasy synthroid that will "Put the Sin back in Synthroid"

The first few I have come up with are:

Choco-sinthroid - for all choco-holics - when you take this synthroid pill, not only do you get your hormone but also a rush of
deep rich non-fattening, dark delicious chocolate.

For all you Starbucks fan, frappachino sinthroid..... same effect, each pill tastes like a frosty cool frappachino.

Then we have the shopping sinthroid - immediately upon ingestion you drift to the mall with all your favorite stores and a Visa
card with a 10,000 limit..... unused....

We have Foxwoods Sinthroid - (foxwoods being the local casino) whisks you away for an unfettered day at the gaming tables....

And popular with the guys--- viagara sinthyroid....a one-two punch of viagara and enough thyroid hormone to spark a libido!!!! (ladies version to be marketed soon)

There will be no sinthroid for the sloth deadly sin - since the lack of synthroid creates enough sloth on its own :-)

Join in thycans - lets put the sin back in Synthyroid!

Top of Page